


One moment too late.

by fxlminare



Series: BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [94]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, The 100 (TV) Season 3, the one in which reader has had enough of bellamy's bullshit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-17
Packaged: 2021-03-15 17:15:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28816917
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fxlminare/pseuds/fxlminare
Summary: Y/N has stuck with Bellamy well past what her sanity allowed her so it comes as no surprise when she's had enough and decides to do what she knew she should've done the day she realized the Bellamy she loved was...dead.
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Reader
Series: BELLAMY BLAKE COLLECTION [94]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2110968
Comments: 2
Kudos: 2





	One moment too late.

**Author's Note:**

> **I was looking through some notes on my laptop and found this document with ideas for s3 of my rewrite. This is one of those paths I never took. But it deserves the spotlight.**   
> 

Your brain was killing you, screaming at you, throwing you all the mistakes you had made in the previous weeks, the choices you knew you should've made but didn't because of him. Because a part of you still thought the Bellamy you loved so deeply was still there. But he wasn't. He was a shadow of who he used to be, only stepping into the light when he realized Clarke was coming back to try to fix his mistakes. But it was all too late.

You had stuck with him. You had tried to help him, aid him in seeing the truth but he was far too gone, too deep for you to reach. He'd never be the same. Maybe he didn't want to. Maybe you didn't either. And maybe telling him just that was a mistake. But how could it be wrong when it felt so right?

\- "What? You thought I was going to change for you?" -if you pressed your nails any harder against your skin, you knew you'd drawn blood from your palms- "Y/N, what the hell!"

\- "No, Bellamy, I thought you were beginning to trust the Grounders. I thought after meeting Lincoln and Indra and Ilion and Sheda you were beginning to trust them!" -you sighed, releasing your hands from their tight grip- "I just wanted the old you back, the one so full of life and ready to fight for what was right and–"

-"Good because if I tried to change you, you just wouldn't–"

\- "Wait, what?" -that caught your attention, turning to face him, watching as his eyes washed with realization; you were angry he interrupted you but he was finally speaking his mind, just not in a way that would benefit him- "You were trying to change me?" -you waited for an answer that never came. Bellamy opened his mouth time and time again but nothing came out. Only silence- "Then this makes things so much easier for me."

\- "Why?"

\- "If you were trying to change me that means you never really loved me. You don't sneak around the people you love to force them to become who you want them to be."

\- "Y/N, no–"

\- "I can't stand by your side anymore, Bellamy. My friend is dead and I don't know if you pressed the trigger or if it was Pike or another of his minions..."

\- "The Grounders–"

\- "I'm a Grounder now, so if I'm a threat to you, you may as well just go ahead and put a bullet through my heart, it's not like it isn't broken anyway."

\- "Y/N, I'm sorry."

\- "You're not sorry because of what's happened, you're sorry for the words I've said and that's just not enough."

\- "But I do love you, I never wanted to change you, I promise you. The only thing I ever wanted to change in our relationship was me so that I could be better, to be the man you deserve to be with."

\- "Bellamy, I loved you for who you were, I never wanted you to act differently."

\- "I don't want... I can't lose you."

\- "You're not the one losing today. As much as it pains me, I love you and you'll always have me, one way or another. But I... I've lost you and now I need to learn to live with that. I need to learn to see you every damn day and remember that you are not the man I fell in love with even if you look just like him."

You couldn't take it any longer. After watching Pike destroy everything you had worked so hard to built, after Bellamy swallowed in self-pity and darkness, not allowing you to reach him, after Lincoln was murdered and Clarke came back, after ALIE took Raven and tortured her beyond anything you could imagine... and only now was Bellamy deciding that it was a good idea to be the man you once loved. Absurd.

\- "Y/N, wait."

\- "No, I'm done waiting. I'm done being there for you and you shutting me out every damn time. Listen, I'm sorry I'm not as good and sweet as Gina and I'm sorry I'm not blood, I'm sorry I'm not Clarke. But I'm tired. I'm leaving."

\- "Where?"

\- "I'm sure doing well leaving if that's the best you can tell me after all this time." -you shook your head, feeling your annoyance increasing by the second- "I'm going to the city. I'm done being the fucking last plate for everyone. I'm leaving to do what I should have back when the ark came down."

\- "Hey guys, what's going on?" -Clarke came out of Nylah's cabin; the innocent tone she put made you sick.

\- "I'm leaving. Goodbye."

\- "Why.

\- "Well now that you are here, everyone seems to be doing as you say and coming back to their fucking senses and so, since I'm useless, I'm going to take Lexa and Indra's offer."

\- "Y/N don't."

\- "Y/N is dead."

You turned around, having had heard enough or, more so, not having had heard what you wanted. You weren't sure if anything would make you stay either. The pain in your chest only seemed to increase with every passing second. This wasn't your place, you had known it for a while but tried to fight it. Useless.

\- "Y/N, please."

\- "I'm done with you, Bellamy." -you got rid of his grip on your wrist, not allowing him to pull you back to him- "I told you I wanted the old Bellamy back but he didn't come to me."

\- "I'm here."

\- "Yeah, conveniently when Clarke appears. Why? So that she doesn't see the mess you did? Are you afraid she'll see you as I had to? Are you trying to spare her the pain? What a gentleman."

You couldn't help the words from rolling off your tongue like venom. You knew that was hurting him but not a single cell in your body found it in itself to care. He hadn't cared when Pike used you against him, when he made it clear he wanted you gone, when you screamed at Bellamy to come back to you. So why should you care if he felt a little pain now?

\- "But–"

\- "I don't want to hear it. You and I have nothing to talk about. I am leaving for good."

\- "Y/N." -Clarke gained your attention, facing her; you knew she wouldn't ask you to stay- "Are you sure?"

\- "I am." -you nodded; you had never been surer of anything in your life- "I'll be more helpful somewhere else. I hope Raven gets better and if she does I hope she remembers I love her as I hope Jasper and Monty do too but I'm leaving." -Clarke nodded and you decided to trust she'd transmit your love to your friends; saying it yourself would be too hard- "I'm not coming back."

\- "You can't leave me." -Bellamy took a step closer to you; his voice was broken, desperate like you hadn't heard in weeks. It should've hurt you. It should've made you want to stay but, in reality, it only pushed you further away- "Y/N, come on."

\- "Are you actually fucking serious?" -you scoffed, moving your arm so that he wouldn't touch you, Clarke going back into the house, leaving you both alone; exactly what you needed- "You left me the day you chose to align with Pike. Did you forget all the shit you said to me? Because I haven't. Even Jaha saw right through you and offered the chip to me." -oh, you knew that'd anger him and that was all you could do now, so you patted your jacket until you found it, showing it to Bellamy, making sure he knew where he had pushed you- "To relieve the pain he said, but I'm glad I didn't take it. Pain is the only feeling I've ever been able to recognize. Pain is home."

\- "Bellamy!" -Clarke was at the door of the cabin- "We need you!"

\- "See?" -you mocked, crossing your arms over your chest- "She needs you."

\- "I need you."

\- "You think you need me and I wished you did, but you don't." -you took a last glance at the cabin- "I can't pretend to believe any more of your lies."

You turned around, ignoring everything else that was said, ignoring whatever happened to him from now on. You were soon on your horse, petting its neck and using your legs to ask him to start moving towards the city. You heard Bellamy ran after you and scream your name but it all fell on deaf ears. This choice felt right. Being able to breathe a bit better the further you moved from him, the closer you got to the city. You left that day for Polis and never looked back.


End file.
